Friday, March 9, 2012

All Aboard The Band Wagon!!


Pink Hat Fan-  A pink hat red sox fan is typically female and trendy. However, most are bandwagon fans who have just latched on the recent success of the Red Sox (

Where were you in 2003- before the Red Sox ever won a World Series title in your life-time? Where were you in 2007- prior to the Celtics winning their first championship in twenty-two years? Where were you in 2010- when there was no fun, million-person Bruins parade to attend because the they had not drank from the Stanley Cup since 1972? And where were you in 1999- the year before your Patriots would win their first ever Super Bowl- and go on to become the most dominant NFL franchise of decade?

Where were you before Boston became America's greatest sports city of the 2000's?  

For many of you the answer is simple-- "I was stuck waiting in line."

You were waiting in line to grab your boarding pass for the Boston-bound band-wagon. 2004... the year of the "pink hat." What a time that was, right? The Red Sox had won their first world series within the lifetime of anyone who didn't personally experience WWI. Now, I have to give credit where credit is due for this one. We Red Sox fans are some crazy, loyal folk, and there is really no denying that the Sox have perhaps one of the greatest fan bases in all of sports. Maybe it's the history, or the unbelievable names that have graced the field at Fenway over the years. I'm sure the reason is different for everybody. But there is also no denying that Fenway Park became a significantly more popular place to visit after '04. Suddenly, the stands were littered with college-aged kids sporting their camouflage themed Red Sox hats, singing "Sweet (fucking) Caroline" (stupid assholes), and girls with their pink colored Sox hats and jerseys (which was funny, because last time I checked NEITHER of those two were EVER the team's colors). It was around this time that the term "pink hat," was adopted for bandwagon jumping Boston fans-- People who had little to no interest in the team before they started winning championships.

Now that's not to say that they disliked the team. No, it just means that a lot of them either never got into the team because there was nothing "exciting" about them, or they lied dormant for years because they lost interest due to a lack of success. See there's a funny characteristic about human beings... everyone wants to be a part of success, and the celebration that comes with it. Just ask all these stupid "dance moms," or other parents that desperately try to burst their children into the spotlight or into Hollywood. Everybody likes someone famous. Take a look at Twitter. I could guarantee you that that red-light district reject, semi-retarded, oompa loompa Snooki, has a Twitter account. You know... the Snooki from the Jersey Shore (the show that turned Italy into yet another country to hate Americans)? Now... when this idiot tweets about what she had for breakfast today (which is pretty fucking epic information), thousands of these pink-hat-type sheep are going to comment, retweet and share (or whatever the F'ing Hell else they do) so as to feed into her, because they want to be part of the hype. It's just the way things work.      

There were over one-MILLION people that attended the Bruins' championship parade this past summer in Boston. People were camping out the night before to get a decent spot, taking the T into the city at five in the morning, not getting out of the city until six or seven that night... and for what? A     team that they had ZERO interest in until last season's playoff run. This has not been a hockey town since before I can even remember, and I personally know people who were there who could not tell you what an offside, icing, or boarding call is, or name a Bruins player other than "that tall guy Chara" or Tim Thomas. I personally am a huge Bruins fan, and I remember (not more than two seasons ago) being able to go to several (regular season) games per year, sit center-ice/balcony at the Garden for forty dollars a ticket, and see at least one out of every three seats empty. Guess how many games I've been to this year...

For seventy or eighty some-odd dollars per ticket for crappy seats, I'm well enough watching the game at home and paying some bills that week. And you know who I blame? Yup, I blame that yuppie broad in the front row behind the benches who's there with her business-man husband (sporting her freshly bought Bruins shirt, just for the occasion), trying not to look too bored, and texting her friends at home to look for her on TV.

Now some of you might look at this and be like, OK... come on now! This is a ridiculous topic. It is irrelevant and unimportant. Or lighten up... sports are just for entertainment, for everyone to enjoy.

I would say this- you're absolutely right. I suppose it's only natural for things to work out that way. I mean, everyone likes watching movies. But not everyone likes watching boring or bad movies, right? I suppose you could say the same thing for sports, which I would also suppose is the reason there are so many Cowboys, or Steelers fans in New England. You folks could not be a fan to a mediocre, atrocity of a team like the Patriots back when they sucked, so you found interest in better, bigger-franchise teams. Then, when your teams in-turn started to suck (as is the natural circle of things) you got mad and grew a hatred for the Patriots. And let me tell you something... I am not buying this hatred for the Patriots franchise being attributed to the Brady/Belichick era. Otherwise, what the hell was your excuse before they got here?

Exactly, they were just BAD. That's all... just bad. And bad doesn't win everyone's love. You could say the same for Yankee fans too. If you are not from New York it is practically a crime to like the Yankees in this state.

But people... still... do... (hmmm, scratching chin)

It was just "a better movie to watch" at one time- With a better ending. The problem ultimately lies with people like me who are a more-than-average sports fan. See... when people like me see their teams lose, we get angry, sad, or just all around perturbed. Then, when this jack-ass fan posts on facebook "it's OK Pats, great season, we'll get them next year," it creates a desire inside us to see them slip on some black ice and fall face first into a pile of green dog shit. Because if this team is something that you are truly a fan of, then it is also a hobby. It is something that you follow- daily -throughout the course of an entire season, and put stock into. You put time, and effort, and money into your teams (watching, studying, attending games, buying merchandise) and hoping that ultimately your team will end up on top in the end, because that is the idea. You don't want to settle for mediocrity, just like you wouldn't if you were a painter, or a musician. Obviously it's a little bit different because it's not you personally, but honestly, why watch otherwise? So yea, I want to be F'ING PISSED when the Pats lose the Super Bowl, or the Sox suffer an epic September collapse, or the Celtics or Bruins get bounced in the first round of the playoffs!

And guess what else? I don't want you (who's pretending to be a fan) saying "oh well, we'll get them next year." Because clearly you didn't invest the time that you claimed to have, otherwise you would be as pissed off as me!

Ultimately, it comes down to pride and representation...

We all live and/or grew up in a particular state. If you're fortunate enough to live in a state with professional sports teams it only makes sense to me to be a fan of those teams (if you are in fact a sports fan). They represent your home. The players don't (which is unfortunate), but the team does. What significance does Dallas, or Pittsburgh, or Las Angeles, or New York have to you if you live in New England? You stick with your teams because you should take as much pride in them as you hopefully do in your home. As an American you really don't root for anyone but the United States in the Olympics, unless you're a green horn... It has nothing to do with how good America performs. If Kony's boys in Uganda smoke us in the hundred meter you don't turn around and dismiss the U.S., or become a Uganda fan. What makes this any different? You want to be a fan? Be a fan. Don't linger, flip-flop, or wait for the party bus and band-wagon. Remember asshole, it isn't about the destination, it's about the journey. And if you are from where I am from... the journey started, and finishes in Boston.

*By the way, just kidding about the asshole comment. Kinda. I mean you probably are a douche if this applies to you, but I guess it doesn't necessarily have to...

...And I 'm aware than I have pretty much all pictures of girls, and girly accessories on here, which would probably lead you to believe I think this only of the female fans. Not true. You ladies just make it so easy with the shit you wear and the crap you do at sports events. But let it be know, guys are equally bad*

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